How to Build Empathy in Kids
With Miranda McKearney of Empathy Lab
When we make an effort to understand others, we strengthen our relationships and improve the bond we have with our community. When we empathize with others, we try to see a situation from their perspective and imagine what we’d feel if we were them. This is such a crucial part of human communication, and can help to remove negativity from our daily experiences. Especially in times like these, empathy can change lives for the better. And the good news is, humans aren’t born with a fixed amount of empathy. It’s a teachable skill we can nurture and grow! We spoke to Miranda McKearney of Empathy Lab to learn 5 ways to develop empathy in kids.
What is Empathy?
Before we get into the details, we need to understand exactly what we’re talking about. Empathy has been described as a human superpower -- it’s our ability to emotionally understand and share someone else’s feelings. Unlike sympathy (which is feeling pity or concern for others), empathy is about feeling alongside other people, and trying to imagine what they’re going through.
The 3 Elements of Empathy
Empathy is made up of three main elements:
Feeling - where we resonate with other people’s emotions
Thinking - where we use reason and imagination to work out how someone else feels.
Acting - where we’re inspired to help others, having experienced what they’re feeling.
5 Ways to Develop Empathy in Kids
Start the Conversation in a Kid-friendly Way
Help Kids to Identify, Name, and Share Emotions
Listen to Your Kids
Read
Build Empathy Habits
1. Start the Conversation in a Kid-friendly Way
Children may find the concept of empathy easier to understand if you approach it on their level. This Sesame Street video is a great place to start. You can also use the current situation to better explain empathy. We’re learning through this crisis just how important we are to each other. We’re all in this situation together, and it’s providing us with opportunities to show up emotionally for one another.
2. Help Kids to Identify, Name, and Share Emotions
If kids understand their own feelings, they’ll be better at understanding other people’s feelings too. Encourage open discussions within your household about how everyone’s feeling, and use emotion words in your own communication. Try a game of Emotions Charades to expand your kid’s emotional intelligence and get them tuned into their own feelings and those of others.
3.Listen to Your Kids
Make a point of listening deeply, with your full attention, to help your kids feel that their own emotions are important. This will also role model how to be a great listener. For a fun way for the whole family to practice, try this ‘listening switch’ exercise. But don’t forget that we’re all human, and sometimes arguments will arise. When this happens, try to see it as an opportunity to put listening skills to use. If there’s a tiff between siblings, ask each kid to explain the situation, but from the other kid’s point of view. By asking kids to ‘reverse sides’, they will build more empathy for the other person and hopefully be able to come up with a solution that meets everyone’s needs.
4. Read
Research shows that reading and talking about characters and stories builds empathy. When we read, our brains experience the story as real. Stories act as a sort of simulation of the real world, and we can use them to enter into the feelings of people who aren’t us. This can be especially powerful for kids since they can be taught to talk about emotions and see the world from new perspectives. Reading can help kids to recognise how other people are feeling, and connect to a broad range of experiences. Characters kids connect with can also serve as positive role models they can look up to.
If you’re reading a book together with your kids, you can focus more on the characters than the plot and ask your kids how they think each character felt, and which character interested them most. Look for stories set in other countries or with characters of different races, religions and experiences. This will inspire kids to imagine life for people in different situations from their own. To get started, check out this awesome guide to find books that encourage empathy.
5. Build Empathy Habits
Help your kids to regularly take action to make a positive difference in the world, no matter how small. Take an interest in issues that resonate with your kids, like visiting a lonely neighbour or asking a new kid in town to play. Help your kids find their inner hero by nurturing their caring spirit so they can become champions for others. Be sure to praise them for their character qualities and empathetic actions as much as their other achievements. For more fun ideas on how to foster empathy in your household, check out this Family Pack, which is jam-packed with creative activities (that only require some scrap paper and a pen)!
Speaking with Miranda got us excited about the world’s potential future. Learning that empathetic people are made, not born, makes us feel hopeful for humanity. Empathy is the foundation of kindness, and we hope to see a compassionate, caring and kindhearted future generation. We hope these strategies help you nurture stronger communities, foster acts of kindness, and raise emotionally intelligent kids.
Miranda is a social entrepreneur inspired by the power of words to change lives. She founded national charity The Reading Agency in 2002 after 25 years of pioneering work on marketing literature and libraries and received an OBE in 2005 for services to libraries. In 2014 she and four fellow founders created EmpathyLab, a not for profit which aims to build children’s empathy skills and social activism through stories. For more info please go to: @MirandaMcK // @EmpathyLabUK // www.empathylab.uk